My BHP [BigHugePost] on...crushes

Okay, so all of you saw Hannah's post on crushes, right? Well here's mine. She and I decided we'd each pick a topic and each write a long post about our thoughts on it. Well, as you know, we picked crushes, as many can relate.

Crushes. You can't avoid them unless you lock yourself in your room forever away from everyone. But I know nobody is stupid enough to do that to not get crushes, because you'd waste your life.
I'm sure many of you out there have gotten a sudden warm feeling of happiness and affection for someone of the opposite gender before. If not, you will. They normally come in your preteen//teenage years. I know I've gotten that feeling. You feel all happy and content, and you're filled with mixed thoughts. You want them to know you like them, but then at the same time you don't in case they don't feel the same. You want to be more outgoing with him//her and talk to him//her but are afraid they'll think you're weird. You want to be around them more but then you feel really shy when you are. It's so hard to control!

So, just because crushes are normal, does that reason alone make it all right to fantasize about the one you admire, to think about them 24/7, to always find yourself wishing for them to notice you? In my opinion, no, I do not think that is okay. Like Hannah already said, you're TOO YOUNG for it! What can you do at 13 when you're not even old enough to date? What's the point? Yeah, I can picture some people reading this and thinking, "You obviously don't know what it's really like. I can't help it!" I hear you and I understand, but let me ask you something. What do you accomplish by liking someone you know likes you back, and you both know? Absolutely nothing! You're too young! Most likely in a few years, you'll be over them. Maybe not, but probably you will. It's just the truth. Just like you don't cover up with your baby blanket at night. You get over them, just like you grew out of your baby blanket. Or your sippy cup. You get it.

So, does this mean you shouldn't have crushes? No. You can and will. But to go so far with it is unreasonable. Maybe just be friends with the person and no more. After all, you won't be dating for like five more years. Dating is when you're ready to get married. And when you date a lot of different people when you're young, you'll have regrets later on. Some might not, but what's the point of "loving" so many people when in the end you marry only one person, and that person might be a completely different person you never knew when you were dating! See what I mean?

I know that when you have crushes, you feel warm and fuzzy and really scared they might find out. You feel like telling your friends but are afraid they won't support you or they might make fun of you. You want to let it out but you just can't. I have felt all of that. And I have learned my lesson. Crushes do crush you, whether you believe it or not. So if you have a crush right now, stop and think: This person might not even be the person I marry one day. Is it wise to go so far with this emotion?

I used to write long, stupid diary entries about a certain person. That was dumb, sinful, and stupidly wrong. I don't do that anymore. When I find myself thinking about a guy as cute, I stop myself and pray to God to take those thoughts out of my head. Each night I pray for my future husband and for me to remain pure for him one day. Imagine it this way. You are given a balloon filled with water to give your future spouse. When you think sinfully about another person, or kiss another man, or just give your purity away altogether, the balloon makes a hole in the bottom and the water leaks out. In the end when you marry, how would you, or your husband feel, when you present him with an empty balloon? You'd want to go back and start over, but you can't. I have never been through that, but we can all start working on it by honoring our future husbands by remaining pure and being kind to the guys around us now. I'm not saying flirt with them or anything, all I'm saying is be friends and treat them the same way you'd treat them if your future husband was watching you.

When I grow up and have kids, and they ask me who my first boyfriend was, I want to be able to point at their father. I want to date only one man when I grow up. My parents did that and they are so in love. That's what I want too. I don't want to have to tell my children that I had many boyfriends. That ruins marriages. It really does. Like I said before: Dating is only when you are ready to get married. It's NOT something you play with or do for fun or even to fit in.

So, where do crushes fit in? Well, when you date your future spouse, you may have a "crush" on them.

Next time you see a guy who looks really cute or nice, pray for guidance and for wisdom to do what is right. Think of your "water balloon". Do you have any holes in it yet? I'm trying to keep mine nice and full of water. Purity is a gift for your future husband. A gift.

Of course the water balloon was just an example, but hopefully you get what I mean.

I hope that I sounded positive and that I glorify God when I wrote this post. Say a prayer for your future husband, without ANYONE in mind, whoever it may be [NOBODY in particular! That's sinful!] and to remain pure for him.

One more thing. Crushes aren't bad. When you have one, though, remember your limits and don't make the same mistake Hannah and I did. You will most likely not be marrying that person, anyway! And you have a lot more to live for than trying to please some guy. =]

Well, that's about it for my BHP!

God bless,

-Esther